Halloween Treats for Two Childless Cat Ladies

Most essays become irrelevant over time. This one howled to be brought back from the dead, rewritten, and given new life.

DEAR SENATOR VANCE,

Every Halloween, in the elevator of our NYC apartment building, there’s a sign-up sheet for residents willing to welcome pint-size treat-or-treaters. It’s never a long list, just a smattering of names of people without kids who are pressured into opening their apartments, so desperate parents have a few places where their kids can beg…