24 Comments
User's avatar
Joann's avatar

Oy

But thank you for entertaining me

David Leite's avatar

Of course!!!

Rose's avatar

Oh David ! The Fire Chief didn’t know you are a well known person of infamous posts of YUMMY EDIBLES from many years of cultural experimentation & experiences & Successes ?!?!? “ STAY AWAY FROM THE STOVE!” LOL WINK WELL, he sure does now !!!

Wink LOL

Rose's avatar

My Online Name… wink lol …. You know me…. visiting Mom…

Barbara Timmerman's avatar

The best yet! I had tears ( of laughter) after reading this one. I ‘ll bet it wasn’t so funny to you and the One when it happened. Amazing how passage of time can make this absolutely hysterical!

David Leite's avatar

Thanks, Barbara!!

Ann-Marie Gillett's avatar

Wow, now that was a shit storm of flubs wasn't it? But what a great story it gave you to entertain us in these challenging times. Thank you!! And I thought my year of roasting a 15 lb. turkey up-side-down and then panicking when I tried to carve the "missing" breast was bad enough. I thought I had a freak turkey until I realized what I had done. Yes, first time roasting one trying to be a grown up. Fails are always funny in retrospect......

David Leite's avatar

Anne-Marie, you're a woman after my own heart! The same thing happened to me when I roasted my first goose. You could read about it here. https://davidleite.substack.com/p/the-goose-of-christmas-past

MaryKay's avatar

Oh my! I confess. I snorted with laughter when I read “ Hello?” I said, as if I were the top earner at a phone sex company.”

I can picture Alan giving you the patented look.

♥️

David Leite's avatar

Oy, he was livid, MaryKay!! Just livid.

Judith Stewart's avatar

OMG funniest story ever! Lauded food writers as top sex worker earners!

David Leite's avatar

That's me, Trixie, food writer/sex worker!

Vevette Cundari's avatar

I read this and then I read it again aloud to my husband. I don’t mean to laugh at your disaster but this here was funny!

David Leite's avatar

Vevette, I posted just so people CAN laugh! Because, to me, a day without laughter is like a day without food.

Deb's avatar

I set a basket of yeast rolls on fire one year 😁

David Leite's avatar

I like your style, Deb!

Carrie's avatar

My "almost burn down the house" moment was when I neglected to trim some very thick (and fatty) lamb chops before placing them a tad too close to the broiler. The end result was flames shooting out the top of my stove and baking soda being thrown into the flames. The house smelled like burnt lamb for quite awhile after.

Rose's avatar
Nov 16Edited

I caught lamb chops on fire in a gas fired broiler ( under the oven ) That was a blast ! But since my Home had caught fire, from an illegal kerosene heater incident & my Dad was trapped & then burned trying to save the place ( the furniture & carpets & walls had some Smokey Coloring & Kerosene Smell that we didn’t even notice being so used to being exposed to that every winter, from November until March! Mom & I were fine just frightened & Stunned ,but we were evicted from the place because when I called the Fire Dept the Landlord was sited for 2 VIOLATIONS - causing a full inspection of the 4 unit building- my Mom was blamed for exposing his VIOLATIONS OF TENANTS OCCUPYING BUILDING CODES ! ) when I was a child - I didn’t laugh … you never know how these things will pop back up in your life!

We had some charred lamb that night for a romantic dinner at 8! with Mint Jelly - a true Irish Dish cooked by the me, the French / Portuguese Newlywed ! lol wink

David Leite's avatar

Wow!! We should start a club!

Michele Unger's avatar

Thanks for sharing. I have had a similar experience, although I (barely) managed to avoid the visit from the fire truck. It still makes me blush to think of it , almost 30 years later.

David Leite's avatar

Michelle, you're welcome. The funny follow-up to the story is that our good friend Ellen went to a cocktail party that night. Sort of a Thanksgiving Eve mixer. And this guy started chatting her up. And she discovered that he was a member of the Roxbury Volunteer Fire Department. And to impress her, he went into an elaborate tale of this fat man in his pajamas who almost burned down his house while making a pie. It was John! She almost died laughing!

Barbara Larson's avatar

This was exquisite -- I had to read it twice. Oh my goodness...

David Leite's avatar

Wow, you read fast, Barbara!