‘Tis the Season to Feel Guilty

Fa-La-La-La-ARRRGH! Every holiday season, do you think THIS year will be the best ever only to be wracked with guilt because you've fallen short? Then this is for you.

THE THANKSGIVING BIRD is but a memory. The holiday’s great miracle has occurred: Some lucky-bastard foods have gone to the Heaviside layer to be reincarnated as gobbler sandwiches, stuffin’ muffins, and creamy turkey tetrazzini. Transubsturkeyation, if you will.

Black Friday bruises have turned from ugly eggplant to sickly green and finally to jaundiced …