Fa-La-La-La-ARRRGH! Every holiday season, do you think THIS year will be the best ever only to be wracked with guilt because you've fallen short? Then this is for you.
“It’s the thought that counts”, that’s what those who say those things say, right? I forever hold onto that saying as it gives me a reprieve from another year of feeling like a slacker.
Thank you for another article that I absolutely relate to and cracks me up. You warm the cockles of me wee heart with your wisdom.
Wishing you and The One have a lovely Christmas and a happy, healthy new year ❤️🎄🍾
Oh gawd, David! You done gone and did it again! From that 1st pic of Santa holding a gift wrapped in "Guilty" paper, against a backdrop of "Guilty" wallpaper, I just knew this was going to be one of your "goodest" ones yet. And you proved me right!
If the thought of mulled wine at 7am repulses you - start earlier, like 10pm the night before. 😬
Gemma, at Bigger Bolder Baking DID do an "Around the World in Twelve Days" cookie collection this year. Some pretty good ones there.
I too, am a list maker, and like you, end up loosing (shredder), setting aside (shredder), or actually taking accountability, and just admit I shredded the bloody things. Except for the grocery shopping list. Which is actually just the starting point for what I REALLY end up coming home with. 😱. And I'll go into the local bulk store, to grab small amounts of some rarely used spices, and end up with $250 worth of stuff. That's probably how I ended up with a 3'×3'×18" plastic tote full of assorted chocolate. And part of another one 🤗
All that aside, the most important thing is being with the people you cherish. And making sure you take your Vitamin D, and ensuring you get your natural light sessions in. Having worked with several individuals suffering from manic depression, once upon a time, in one of my professions, I know this time of year can be tough - for all people having a mental illness. My (adopted as an abused baby) brother was a paranoid schizophrenic, with suicide ideation. He was positive that one of the voices he was hearing was God. And if God tells you to step out into oncoming traffic, or slit your wrist... The insidious, and very common thing with THIS one is that once your meds make you feel better, you're convinced you don't need them, stop taking them, and once again descend - right back to the inside of the hamster wheel.
Damn! Verbal diarrhea has struck again. 😕. Wishing you, and The One, the very best the season has to offer, and many blessings.
All I (really, really, REALLY) want for Christmas is that absolutely stunning, "Guilty" Christmas ornament! 🤞. And to not have a major health issue, as happened several years ago. 🙏
Are we related? Basically the same age, both Portuguese from Fall River. Maybe we're twins from different mothers! Anyway, I'm not sweating the small stuff this year either. I did make cookies (all drop with red and green jimmies for the festive look). No presents, no "have to go to" parties and cards to only special people. Trying to stay in the moment, although sometimes I fall asleep.
Ha!!! One tip, which I'm sure you know, is to start in October and freeze the dough. In my interview with Zoë François, she elaborated on her cookie-making protocol. Wicked impressive! (The video of the interview will be posted in my notes tomorrow!)
You have gifted me with happiness and smiles abating my burgeoning guilt and despair. Love and kisses to you and The One for a glorious Christmas with anticipation of future trips together to wondrous places!! Cheers! 🥂👍🏽🙏🏽🎄🎁😘
Sadly, I took one glance at the "GUILTY" tree ornament pic and all I could think was, "I NEED that!". Otherwise, as usual, you are completely on point!
I'm still laughing as I write this, so grateful for all the Christmases we've spent together, most of them including fantastic meals that you and the One have lovingly prepared.
A garden cart filled with guilt has been ceremoniously dumped on the compost pile and I am feeling mighty relieved to check it off my to-do list! Thank you for making me chuckle!
Oh my God, That incomprehensible holiday Thanksgiving ( thanking whom for what? The fact land was stolen from the Native Americans by the English) has done you in. I think you should sleep for 13 hours and watch The Family Stone or The Muppets Christmas movie to reconnect. Of course the cards are unnecessary except to our nearest and dearest and bought cookies are perfect( Hello Box of Roses!!) but the thought of a depleted David for Christmas is anathema to me! Sending Christmas cheer from Ireland ( where we are clogging the pubs already, have booked reservations for 5 nights per week in the run up and are picking our Turkeys out at the farm! Mine is called Esmeralda which is putting me in 2 minds of eating her!!!)
Good, I’m delighted. People need rest as a fundamental. My Father thought I created the concept of Self Care in 1982 as a 4 year old because I am a very indolent person but I can honestly say that Rest got me through the tough times. Have a wonderful Christmas, quiet or busy, big or small each type is has value.
Ha!! I'm sure I'll be revived by the holiday. We're taking a few days off for The One well-deserved birthday after all he's been through this year. Christmas will just us, and then I'm refusing to work from December 24 to Jan 2. First time ever, in 25 years.
If I had my way, I'd settle in front of the (electric) fireplace and read from Black Friday until the 5th of January. Unfortunately, I managed to hook up with someone who thinks Christmas is the most "glorious time of the year". (That is a question I will ask before any future (if any) entanglements.) Since I do most of the heavy lifting and putting away, It is my job to haul all of the Christmas stuff from out of my walk-in closet, from under my bed, and from the hall closet. That done, I try to stay out of the way until it is time to put all the leftover debris back in closets, under beds, and/or anywhere else out of sight. Peace will reign until some magic day in January when everthing flips into reverse comlete with trying to get all those "stunning" little glass ornaments back into their designated boxes. Christmas is my least favorite time of the year. And all the books I find under the tree is not going to change my mind. Bah, humbug!!
signed,
The Grinch Who Wishes Someone Would Steal Chrismas
I hear you. This year, we pulled back from the hullabaloo we usually do. We even bought an artificial tree--which I was deeply ambivalent about. That is until it took all of 1 hour to set up and decorate it. After 31 years together with 31 fresh-cut trees, I think we earned our slackerness!
Thanks. Honestly, there is something comforting about using the same artificial tree over the years. We were going to use my parents' tree this year, which they bought in 1970, but it's somewhere in their basement, and I can't find it.
But when I eventually clean out their house, I will bring it home. I have so many memories of being with my mother she decorated it.
David, you have done it again! A wonderful piece of writing that somehow expresses what we all think, but written in such a wonderful style that we can indeed chuckle with you and at ourselves. Happy holidays!
Transubturkeyation = a chortle, more than a chuckle. Perhaps it’s my Catholic indoctrination. This entire piece gets a 2 thumbs up, chin chin! 🥂
Hi merry x mas
“It’s the thought that counts”, that’s what those who say those things say, right? I forever hold onto that saying as it gives me a reprieve from another year of feeling like a slacker.
Thank you for another article that I absolutely relate to and cracks me up. You warm the cockles of me wee heart with your wisdom.
Wishing you and The One have a lovely Christmas and a happy, healthy new year ❤️🎄🍾
SSmith thank you! And wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season!
Oh gawd, David! You done gone and did it again! From that 1st pic of Santa holding a gift wrapped in "Guilty" paper, against a backdrop of "Guilty" wallpaper, I just knew this was going to be one of your "goodest" ones yet. And you proved me right!
If the thought of mulled wine at 7am repulses you - start earlier, like 10pm the night before. 😬
Gemma, at Bigger Bolder Baking DID do an "Around the World in Twelve Days" cookie collection this year. Some pretty good ones there.
I too, am a list maker, and like you, end up loosing (shredder), setting aside (shredder), or actually taking accountability, and just admit I shredded the bloody things. Except for the grocery shopping list. Which is actually just the starting point for what I REALLY end up coming home with. 😱. And I'll go into the local bulk store, to grab small amounts of some rarely used spices, and end up with $250 worth of stuff. That's probably how I ended up with a 3'×3'×18" plastic tote full of assorted chocolate. And part of another one 🤗
All that aside, the most important thing is being with the people you cherish. And making sure you take your Vitamin D, and ensuring you get your natural light sessions in. Having worked with several individuals suffering from manic depression, once upon a time, in one of my professions, I know this time of year can be tough - for all people having a mental illness. My (adopted as an abused baby) brother was a paranoid schizophrenic, with suicide ideation. He was positive that one of the voices he was hearing was God. And if God tells you to step out into oncoming traffic, or slit your wrist... The insidious, and very common thing with THIS one is that once your meds make you feel better, you're convinced you don't need them, stop taking them, and once again descend - right back to the inside of the hamster wheel.
Damn! Verbal diarrhea has struck again. 😕. Wishing you, and The One, the very best the season has to offer, and many blessings.
All I (really, really, REALLY) want for Christmas is that absolutely stunning, "Guilty" Christmas ornament! 🤞. And to not have a major health issue, as happened several years ago. 🙏
I just checked our Gemma’s site. Thanks for the recco. Happy holidays to you and yours!
Are we related? Basically the same age, both Portuguese from Fall River. Maybe we're twins from different mothers! Anyway, I'm not sweating the small stuff this year either. I did make cookies (all drop with red and green jimmies for the festive look). No presents, no "have to go to" parties and cards to only special people. Trying to stay in the moment, although sometimes I fall asleep.
Merry Christmas!
Brenda
Brenda, who knows! There was a neighbor name Brenda who was 2 years younger than me.
I wish you and yours a relaaaaxed and delicious holiday season!
I can relate, unfortunately, for my grandchildren, who expect me to bake a million cookies. I would like to be in Negril.
Ha!!! One tip, which I'm sure you know, is to start in October and freeze the dough. In my interview with Zoë François, she elaborated on her cookie-making protocol. Wicked impressive! (The video of the interview will be posted in my notes tomorrow!)
You have gifted me with happiness and smiles abating my burgeoning guilt and despair. Love and kisses to you and The One for a glorious Christmas with anticipation of future trips together to wondrous places!! Cheers! 🥂👍🏽🙏🏽🎄🎁😘
ap, well, my job is done here! I thought if I could make someone laugh (and go easy on themselves), it would've made writing the essay worth it.
That - you surely did! Top 'o the season to you and The One!
I relate to this so much! Thank you for the chuckles
Jennifer, you're more than welcome
Sadly, I took one glance at the "GUILTY" tree ornament pic and all I could think was, "I NEED that!". Otherwise, as usual, you are completely on point!
Hell - I need them for ALL the seasons! 🤗
Right, Glory!!
I'm still laughing as I write this, so grateful for all the Christmases we've spent together, most of them including fantastic meals that you and the One have lovingly prepared.
Completely, El. We’ve had a lot of great Christmases together! xox
A garden cart filled with guilt has been ceremoniously dumped on the compost pile and I am feeling mighty relieved to check it off my to-do list! Thank you for making me chuckle!
Oh my God, That incomprehensible holiday Thanksgiving ( thanking whom for what? The fact land was stolen from the Native Americans by the English) has done you in. I think you should sleep for 13 hours and watch The Family Stone or The Muppets Christmas movie to reconnect. Of course the cards are unnecessary except to our nearest and dearest and bought cookies are perfect( Hello Box of Roses!!) but the thought of a depleted David for Christmas is anathema to me! Sending Christmas cheer from Ireland ( where we are clogging the pubs already, have booked reservations for 5 nights per week in the run up and are picking our Turkeys out at the farm! Mine is called Esmeralda which is putting me in 2 minds of eating her!!!)
Good, I’m delighted. People need rest as a fundamental. My Father thought I created the concept of Self Care in 1982 as a 4 year old because I am a very indolent person but I can honestly say that Rest got me through the tough times. Have a wonderful Christmas, quiet or busy, big or small each type is has value.
Ha!! I'm sure I'll be revived by the holiday. We're taking a few days off for The One well-deserved birthday after all he's been through this year. Christmas will just us, and then I'm refusing to work from December 24 to Jan 2. First time ever, in 25 years.
Very well deserved rest! Even God rested on the 7th day!
Add to your CV: Culinary Psychotherapist -- superb diagnostic ian of seasonal angst. High success rate with chocolate-based treatments.
Brilliant!!!
If I had my way, I'd settle in front of the (electric) fireplace and read from Black Friday until the 5th of January. Unfortunately, I managed to hook up with someone who thinks Christmas is the most "glorious time of the year". (That is a question I will ask before any future (if any) entanglements.) Since I do most of the heavy lifting and putting away, It is my job to haul all of the Christmas stuff from out of my walk-in closet, from under my bed, and from the hall closet. That done, I try to stay out of the way until it is time to put all the leftover debris back in closets, under beds, and/or anywhere else out of sight. Peace will reign until some magic day in January when everthing flips into reverse comlete with trying to get all those "stunning" little glass ornaments back into their designated boxes. Christmas is my least favorite time of the year. And all the books I find under the tree is not going to change my mind. Bah, humbug!!
signed,
The Grinch Who Wishes Someone Would Steal Chrismas
😂 Merry, or not, Christmas!
I hear you. This year, we pulled back from the hullabaloo we usually do. We even bought an artificial tree--which I was deeply ambivalent about. That is until it took all of 1 hour to set up and decorate it. After 31 years together with 31 fresh-cut trees, I think we earned our slackerness!
Congratulations on your new found resolve, David. To assist you with planning for the future, I'll leave you with this:
Promises Unkept
Every year I open the box
And look at this sorry tree.
I bought it for my parents
In nineteen-seventy-three.
Every year I straighten
Bent and balding limbs,
Check the broken foot
Held on with duct tape and shims.
Every year I promise myself,
No matter what it entails,
I’ll replace this ancient carcass
At the after Christmas sales.
Happy Holidays to you and yours.
Weird. Substack messed up the spacing and won't let me fix it. Bummer. Imagine 3 verses with 4 lines per verse.
Thanks. Honestly, there is something comforting about using the same artificial tree over the years. We were going to use my parents' tree this year, which they bought in 1970, but it's somewhere in their basement, and I can't find it.
But when I eventually clean out their house, I will bring it home. I have so many memories of being with my mother she decorated it.
1970?? Stock up on shims and duct tape before you open the box. :))
Sounds like there are nice memories in that box too. Save those.
Totally!!
Love it x
Danke!
David, you have done it again! A wonderful piece of writing that somehow expresses what we all think, but written in such a wonderful style that we can indeed chuckle with you and at ourselves. Happy holidays!
Nadine, why, thank you!! I wish you and yours a happy and what I KNOW will be a delicious holiday season.